SAD with what i dont have~

This time is different~~ i feel so sad with what i dont have that original people will have without any effort....but me have do alot of effort..have to eat more medecine...have to do more things than normal person have to...to own what i want...but..although i have done so many effort to get it..but it still remain the same..so sad..i have done so much...so much effort..but what i get ...the result remain the same... i have suffer for 6 years..what a long time..do you know that i am really suffering..with all those eyes looking at me...and all the words that cut me like a knife.is really hurt...my heart is bleeding..why the world is so reality...God..tell me what should i do inorder to fullfill my wish...i have done so much...but y? y still give me the same result..so despair...hopeless...